And Then I Lost My Job…

…and my happy-go-lucky, care-free world came to a screeching, sudden, scary halt.

Ouch.

Working in the building industry in this economy, its not uncommon to lose your job, so you try to prepare as a building professional. You can prepare for it all you want. But thinking about losing your job and then actually losing it are two completely different things. And nothing can fully prepare you for that blow.

I had a speech ready. One of those “you’re-gunna-miss-me-when-i’m-gone-jerks” speech ready. The speech that was guaranteed to make them hurt just as much as I was. The speech that had some great in-your-face points. The speech that was lost and replaced by tears immediately when I heard the words out loud: we’re laying you off.

I cried more than I ever thought I could (so much so, that my eyes swelled shut. cute look) -went through 2 gallons of ice cream, 3 bottles of wine, 2 wine coolers, 5 boxing classes, and a box of tissues. And at the end of it all, it still hurt.

The words laid off just have this incredible sting on my heart. And its a sting I get with each time someone says those words.

It hurts, because no matter how much they tell you its not about your work ethic, your marketing skills, or your professionalism you can’t help but think you messed up somewhere. You can’t help but retrace everything you did and try to find meaning in it all. When really, its the economy that has taken you victim. And you hear  about layoffs all the time, but you never for a second think thats going to be you.

But, here I am, a part of the 13.5 million Americans who are unemployed – there is a statistic I never expected to be a part of.

Reality Check – your life can and most likely will be pulled out from under you sometime in your life. Get ready.

So here I am, 23 years old, out on my own in Columbus, with my family 2 hours away, with no job and more bills than I know what to do with.

And by about day 4 I’d had enough of the crying. Enough of the eating and drinking. Enough of my sassy attitude.

It was time for a realization. A realization that yes, this sucks. Theres really no other way to put it. Sometimes, life isn’t fair. And even the most hardworking people get screwed for no reason. And its going to be tough, but this is my life now. And there are two ways to handle it:

1- sit here and cry about it. (which I’m actually quite good at)

2- DO SOMETHING about it.

Either way, the fact was still there starring me in the face: I’m unemployed. 

So I’m doing something about it. I’ve learned this: being laid off is inconvenient, BUT, maybe its time to slow down my life and enjoy  it a little bit? God has some big things brewing & really, I have no limits anymore. Nothing is holding me back. And its a good feeling.

So as much as I’m trying to sit here and pretend that I’m okay, I’m really not. But I’m faking it until I make it. Because maybe one day soon, if I pretend enough, it’ll become real.

But if things like this have any positive in them, its that you realize who’s there for you. Because its the people who build you up and make you strong that really matter during times like this. And that, is incredible. I’m so blessed in that way and thankful for all the people who surround me with love, even if they can’t be here with me. I couldn’t ask for a better family / friend circle.

And of course, God is still working in my life. In ways I never knew he would.

‎”Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” -Proverbs 3:5-6 ♥

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