This is Crazy.

I haven’t blogged in 2 years, but I’ve always been writing. My mind has always been going. I think I just needed some time to try some new things, to fail gracefully, and to find out how to pick myself up.

I was so amazed at logging in on wordpress today to see that my words are not lost. They’re not just floating around in cyber space somewhere, gone forever. But quite the opposite – they are being read. The past year, I’ve had more than 2,000 views on this blog. I have had some thought-provoking comments from a community of writers and readers that sparked my interest. And sparked my drive to write again. Thank you.

The past 2 years have been some of the hardest and best years of my life, if that’s possible.

1. I met, fell in love with, and am marrying the best guy in just under 6 months. Eee! (Many more blog posts to come about the handsome, incredible guy below, who (yes) had a photographer capture our engagement in photos).

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2. I started seminary school. I have started, stopped, contemplated never going back, contemplated quitting my job and going full time…and everything in between. It is a constant battle between God and I – trying to figure out his will, versus my will, versus my practical side, versus my dreamer head-in-the-clouds side. I pray about it every day, and still don’t have a real answer.

3. I’ve been broken to the point that I never thought I’d go back. I got to the point a few years ago where I lost so much weight my size 1 skinny jeans were falling off of my body. It took everything in me to pull myself out of bed and put one foot in front of the other to make it through the day. I had a pit in my stomach the size of a watermelon that was constantly there, and constantly reminding me of what I wasn’t. I think it was a time in my life I needed to go through, and now I think its a time I need to share.

4. Greg and I got the cutest little puppy named Lucy. She is spoiled like she’s an only child, and brings so much joy to our lives. Thank you God for creating dogs.

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5. I had the awesome, amazing, life-altering opportunity to serve God on a mission trip to Brazil. I traveled with Vineyard Columbus to northern Brazil to teach healing conferences in the churches across a few communities. I have never had an experience that has humbled me more or taught me more about what my faith is capable of.

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6. I watched my brother physically, mentally and emotionally push through a mental illness that nearly cost him his life. This was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. And I know now, that I must raise awareness about mental health.

7. I’ve learned this – there are some things you can control. Most things you can’t control. But all things are under God’s control.

8. I’ve really struggled with getting older. This is a challenge I’ve literally had since I was 5 years old, crying on my mom’s bed about how I didn’t want to die and how I wanted to live forever. Although the tantrums have stopped, my mind still wanders to that place sometimes. And I’ve spent a lot of time wrestling with God about accepting death one day for myself, and for others.

9. My soon to be brother and sister in law gave me their sewing machine. And I’ve taught myself how to sew. 25 going on 60. You bet.

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10. I’ve also really developed a love for photography. I (finally) invested in a nice DSLR camera and lenses, and do some photography part time on the side of life. I really just enjoy capturing other people’s lives and telling stories behind the lens. I’m not sure where this will lead me, but right now I’m just enjoying it. If you’re on Flickr- http://www.flickr.com/photos/56620014@N02/

So. I’m back? Or something. Taking some time to update this blog to reflect my current life goals, dreams, aspirations – the whole deal. Thanks for sticking with me. My gosh. Who knew?

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2 thoughts on “This is Crazy.

  1. Nice to meet you! I’m visiting via the Hebrews Launch team. First of all, I love your header. Those are some of my favorite plants. I’m also a huge dog fan and a photographer 🙂

    1. We already have so much in common, Salina! 🙂 I’m getting married in May, and will be incorporating succulent plants into our wedding, so the header has a duel meaning for me too! I popped on your blog and took some time looking through your photos – beautiful! How fun is it to tell stories through the lens? I’m so glad we were able to connect in this way – much more to come. #HebrewsLaunchTeam

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