I think in order to be a writer, God has to give you life experiences that are so real that they provoke emotions out of you that are hidden deep in the crevices of your soul. These things that happen – they engulf your whole character and wreck your every fiber, until the only thing that is left is the raw, real you. They make you question, they make you seek, they make you doubt. And in the end, you’re left with only whats inside to keep you going.
And my prayer has always been, God give me the wisdom to teach. Give me the wisdom to lead. And give me the wisdom to write with emotion and gusto. So he gave me the literal worst year of my life, and is asking me to pick up the pieces and start to write about how I made it. Life experience makes the best teacher. For some, life experience leaves them unscathed, knowing that circumstances are out of their control. So they trudge forward and move on. And for others, life experiences change every piece of their character, in places they never knew existed. I happen to fall in the later category. I really believe that life shapes us and molds us into the people we were meant to be.
I’ve been hiding behind the smiling photos of my new baby boy. Hiding the loss, heartache and just all around battle this past year. And this post, or series of posts, isn’t going to be my sob story. Its not going to play the woe-is-me card. I hope for it to be a catharsis of my character – a real purging of healing emotions. I’m tired of the sappy, happy, life is perfect social media posts. I want to be real. I want to be raw. I want to capture that authentic human experience. I think in order to really, truly appreciate all the good thats in the world, you first have to experience the bad. You have to live in it, you have to trudge through it and you’ve got to overcome. God created us to be overcomers, but quite frankly, sometimes, life is just so messy, and hard. And you don’t know how to be an overcomer until its your only option. And that – is worth sharing. Because its a hell of a way to go alone.